


The Mascot We Don't Deserve

by Project0506



Series: Soft Wars [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Brothers, Brothers being assholes, Chatting & Messaging, Clones, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Gen, Humor, chat fic, gen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:07:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23430682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Project0506/pseuds/Project0506
Summary: Captain Rex is formally included in the Clone Commander chat
Series: Soft Wars [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1683775
Comments: 43
Kudos: 997





	The Mascot We Don't Deserve

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Prayer for Strength in Adversity](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23407009) by [Project0506](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Project0506/pseuds/Project0506). 



> Well folks, this train is rolling and the brakes are karked. Strap in.
> 
> Mando'a translations are included in the end notes, with links to take you back to where you were. Mando'a definitions from [mandoa.org](http://mandoa.org/).
> 
> I used [this page](https://archiveofourown.org/faq/formatting-content-on-ao3-with-html?language_id=en#htmlanchorlink) to do the links.

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Ponds: All hands, those of you who were not in my cadet squad may not remember CT-7567. If you don’t, he was the tiny blonde vod’ika 1 Cody snuck into our berth and _ _all of us in Squad Shebs 2 pretended he’d been there the whole time. The following is extremely pertinent information._

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Ponds:_ _1\. His name is Rex. 2. Rex is ad’ika 3. 3. We love Rex. 4. We love Rex a lot. 5. We love Rex more than Cody._

_ Priority  _ _ Alert:  _ _ CT-7567 has been added to Command Chat _

_Priority_ _Alert_

_Cody:_ _Ponds._

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Ponds:_ _Especially when Cody's trying to fake being the straight man in this chat._

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Rex: Sirs?_

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Ponds:_ _Don’t start acting polite Rex’ika the chat is already aware the Shebse 4 raised you._

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Cody:_ _**Ponds** _

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Fox: Y’know today’s been_ _fucking_ _great._ _Solid wall of_ _fucking_ _meetings since o’ six._ _Multiple_ _fucking_ _requests for me to fix the busted_ _fucking_ _lift_ _in Republica, incidentally not my job._ _Spell checking_ _fucking legislation to_ _import fucking dairy from a fucking planet I can’t pronounce in a fucking system I’ve never_ _fucking_ _heard of._ _Also_ _not my fucking job._

_Priority_ _Alert_

_Cody:_ _Fox are you okay?_

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Fox: And now there’s a gosh darned CT in my dadgum Command chat._

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Fox:_ _Ponds._ _The Fuck._

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Ponds: Rex is the acting Commander of Torrent company. He is authorized access to this chat._

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Fox:_ _Dooku’s hairy single_ _testicle_ _he is._ _Don’t make me quote regs Ponds. Don’t make me that guy._

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Gree: If you won’t, I will._ _Last I checked_ _highest rank a CT can have is_ _Major_ _._ _And by ‘last I checked’ I mean ‘I can point you to the pertinent paragraph if you need a refresher’_

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Ponds:_ _Captain Rex’s rank stands, but is officially operating as an acting_ _Clone_ _Commander._ _Anyone with an issue is free to contact High General Windu directly_ _who has_ _**personally** _ _authorized_ _this administrative promotion._

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Ponds: Just remember_ _that I also_ _administer_ _Windu’s_ _mailbox._ _Not directly saying your whining will_ _definitely_ _be automatically deleted, but it’s a possibility you should probably keep in mind._ _See my original points 3 through 5._

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Cody:_ _Ponds could probably have addressed this according to_ _**actual protocol** _ _but I can confirm_ _that Rex has been administratively promoted_ _for distinguished service_ _in his first campaign commanding Torrent Company_ _under the combined command of General Skywalker and High General Kenobi._

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Fox:_ _So you’re saying_ _Windu promoted your mascot for_ _wrangling his own Jedi and_ _yours_ _without murdering either of them._

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Cody:_ _No Fox..._

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Ponds: Yes. Most definitely._

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Rex:_ _Oh?_

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Rex: Was that supposed to be hard?_

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Gree: Well. I like him_

_ Priority  _ _ Alert _

_Fox:_ _Fuck. Yeah. I like him more than Cody._

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Little sibling, little brother/sister. Back  
> 2\. Ass/Asshole. Back  
> 3\. Baby. Back  
> 4\. Asses/Assholes. Back  
>  Is Fox okay? Who knows. Probably not though. Poor Fox.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Command Chat Log: Jedi Edition](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24491023) by [Chess_Blackfyre](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chess_Blackfyre/pseuds/Chess_Blackfyre)
  * [[PODFIC] The Mascot We Don't Deserve](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25585231) by [lalabob11](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalabob11/pseuds/lalabob11)




End file.
